The Handshake 5

I’ve been going back and forth on how to start this blog (and the site overall) for the last week or so. I needed a topic that was interesting and fun to talk about, but there’s also a looming issue that kept plaguing me: You don’t know anything about me.

Why would you be here in the first place? How did you end up here? Do I have anything relevant to say?

The answer to the last one is most assuredly no. But for a lot of us in the same space, that hasn’t mattered. We will prattle on about whatever obsession we currently have to whatever like minded folks that are unfortunate to be around at the time. That may be the initial concept for a lot of what you end up finding here anyway, as this will be an outlet to throw some of those ideas into the universe so that my friends and loved ones get a break.

So onto the Handshake 5. This was a concept that was first brought to me by a friend as a way to take 5 horror movies to define their interest in the genre as efficiently as possible. While it can be seen as being reductive because so many of us have such a wide interest in the genre, it does make you trim up your decisions and since it’s genre specific you don’t fall into as much choice paralysis as the more common “What’s your favorite X” type of questions. This exercise is something our friends have discussed at great length, is something that we’ve commonly used as icebreaker, and the overlap between the group’s choices is always an interesting conversation.

So here we are now, ready to break the ice with the internet at large. Let’s play.

The Thing

This is the cream of the crop. While Carpenter has so many amazing titles, this is far and away my favorite. The bleakness of isolation in the Antarctica snow. The score. Stevie Wonder’s Superstition. This is one that I try to watch the first snow of every winter. The special effects are incredibly gross and look absolutely amazing. While the prequel doesn’t come close to the original’s glory, I don’t hate it. 10/10.

Hellraiser

Let’s get it out of the way: Doug Bradley’s performance is incredible. His portrayal of the Hell Priest made even the later lesser films watchable and elevated every line of dialogue he spoke. I’m a huge fan of films that have sequels that take place directly after the previous film (Halloween 1/2, Puppet Master 4/5, etc) and I cannot imagine having 2 of these back to back. This series has some great monster design and even weirder body horror. Personally I think the first 4 films are the strongest of the original run but the most recent Hulu re-imagining was more fun than I expected it to be.

The Lost Boys

The picture here should just be Tim Cappello wailing on the saxophone but I don’t think a still image does it justice. This is one of my favorite vampire films, and while it’s rated R, I think the film is one of the best examples of Gateway Horror. The soundtrack has to be on a short list of best horror movie soundtracks of all time. I haven’t made a Halloween playlist without Cry Little Sister in ages and the next time Mr Cappello is in the area I’m doing everything in my power to catch I Still Believe live. Come for the rocking tunes, stay for the Frog Brothers.

A Nightmare on Elm Street

Freddy Krueger was the first monster that I can think of that terrified me. I remember being far too young and watching parts of Dream Warriors before my parents realized what was on the television. When I was 4 my parents took me to a Halloween party at a Baptist Church that inexplicably had a man dressed up as Freddy, in a dark room with several strobe lights, who was managing a table of plaster of Paris hand prints for children. This is another film series is completely defined by one man’s performance and I honestly doubt we will ever see a remake that is a fraction of the greatness that Robert Englund brought to Freddy (and unfortunately they’ve tried). While this series has it’s ups and downs, it’s always going to have a place in my nightmares.

Puppet Master

We before Blockbusters and Hollywood Videos came and went there was a little locally owned shop that I still think about to this day. Someone there must have loved horror because when you walked to the back there was a large haunted castle on the outside of the video tape walls that you would walk into and then be surrounded by the glory that was VHS box art. This place had a massive Full Moon/Empire selection and I devoured all of it’s terrible/wonderful schlock.

I’m a sucker for stop-motion films ANYTHING and this series has been wonderful comfort food for me since I was in elementary school. I love the different puppets and how they form a sort of mini X-men with their various powers and abilities. Frequently with each movie you would be introduced to another new puppet to obsess over, but the poster boy Blade really shows that they nailed it in one.

These are the hardest to recommend but for those of us that love a great “bad movie” this series is one of my least guilty of pleasures.